I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
