Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
