He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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