We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize