Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
