This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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