I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
