we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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