just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
