You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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