Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
