thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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