I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
