i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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