week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
