Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
my liver is dry heaving
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
