There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
