meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
