Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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