If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
