it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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