Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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