Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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