when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize