did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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