I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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