I hate all girls vehemently.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
