So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam đ
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying âFUCK YOUâ to all my spam emails. Canât tell you how excited I am
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
false alarm, still single
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