tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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