Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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