Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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