On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize