ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
