i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
