Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
