So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
