Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
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I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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