It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
