I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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