If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
