smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
