Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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