i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
