you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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