Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
