after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
