Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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