Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
