i just wanna soil my oats bro
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
