Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
