I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
