Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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