im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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