you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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