you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
