I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im holly from the hills drunk
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
