You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
ok first of all what the fuck
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize