Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
