I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize