haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He kissed a someone with a penis
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize