um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
