I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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